Unreadable Garbage-a Wilds of Eldraine set review

Yes, the title is clickbait. 

Except where it isn't. Here is the official WotC card image gallery. By way of contrast, here is the official March of the Machine gallery. Further contrast: MTGNexus gallery for Wilds of Eldraine, so you can see the difference. 

The official gallery is full of information that offers an incredible amount of noise. Who approved that? 

Thanks, I hate it. 

Now, let's talk about the set, which I'm much more positive about!

White
The color feels very standard this set. Nothing stands out, which is a little surprising since White is supposed to be associated to Auras specifically. But it's not bad, either. I'm just not finding something to talk about-not the art, nor the mechanics; they work, they just aren't raising my eyebrows. 

Blue
I really want Chancellor of Tales to be a bit beefier. I understand it needs to have a mana value of 4, otherwise it becomes breakable, but even with flying, a 2/3 isn't going to make the cut in a constructed deck. 

And Extraordinary Journey seems very expensive. I suppose it's meant for Commander but as an Enchantment, I'm not sure it offers players the board wipe they want. Despite that, it's very in Blue as a color. 

I really dig the tension represented on Ingenious Prodigy. 

Black
There's something obvious that I'm missing about Ashiok, Wicked Manipulator's first line of text, because it's just so weird. There's something that they want to keep us from breaking easily, otherwise the card wouldn't be quite so expensive. 

I appreciate the candy-themed monsters in this color. They are both creepy and fun, keeping the lighter elements of the set while still providing some excellent monstrosities. 

I'm also curious if Not Dead After All is referring to Ayara, Widow of the Realm, letting us know she didn't die in March of the Machine. If that's the case, then I'm more interested in the story of this set than I was before...but I don't see much throughline in other cards. Perhaps a plot detail they will pick up in a future set?

Red
I've got a Rats deck and I'm keeping it around for now because of what Red is doing in WoE. We'll see how it plays out.

There's a few interesting takes on Red's abilities-Food Fight for example-but I'm really struck by the art for the color in this set. I feel like they really got to capture some great stuff. I can't pin any one point down, but overall I like what's been done.

Green
Feral Encounter is a weird card. It wants to do a LOT, but I don't know that it's worth it.

But the rest of the color seems to be falling into the same place White is: everything is fine, but nothing is standing out. 

Multicolor
In WoE, the multicolor stuff feels like icing on the cake. There to illuminate draft archetypes, spotlight cool characters, and reinforce the set's mechanical themes. I actually like how this is handled. 

Artifacts and Lands
Actually I can say much the same here as I did about multicolored cards. Nothing truly amazing, but all well blended into the set overall.   

Overall; I like how they've decided to treat Auras in this set, working around the card disadvantage aspect of them. I don't appreciate the sheer number of them: the execution feels very inelegant. Still, there's some positives there. 

I welcome back Adventures, those were always neat. I like the incorporation of different sorts of fairy tales, not just the reliance on Authurian legends that WoE brings. That really expands the world in positive ways. 

I'm not so big on Celebration. The "nonland" clause makes me think it just won't be helpful as often as you'd like. Similarly, though Bargain fits very nicely into much of the set, it is a drawback mechanic that has me wondering if the Bargains are worth paying for. However, there are already Aristocrats decks out there, so perhaps something in Black or Black/Red could be really intriguing in the constructed realm.

All in all, I like where this is going and am looking forward to the pre-release!

1-2 (again)

Round 1 vs Wann on Cephalid Breakfast

Game 1: I was able to resolve a Sudden Edict while they had the Nomads on the table, then move to a Tourach, Burning Inquiry, line. After an attack for 5, I dropped a Buccaneer to swing for 7 and pull off game 1.

Game 2: I opened with a Grief and removed their Stoneblade, which was the first game-saving action I took. On turn 3, with a Bowmasters on the table, I used Meltdown for 1 to take out a Currency Converter and two Construct tokens. That left them with nothing on the table, and they weren’t able to come back from that.

Round 2 vs Salli on Reanimator

Game 1: She had a turn 1 reanimation of Griselbrand, then Lotus Petal into Thoughtsieze. If I topdecked an Edict effect, I would’ve kept going but I did not.

Game 2: She mulliganed to 4 and I had a turn 2 Voidwalker. Except in response to the Voidwalker, she Entombed an Archon of Cruelty, and on her turn 2 reanimated that, causing me to sacrifice the Voidwalker. That was it. I thought about mulliganing to a Grief, but I had hoped a turn 2 Voidwalker-with two more Bojka Bogs in hand-would do the trick. Not so much.

That’s the second week in a row I’ve just gotten slapped down by combo decks. Whew.

Round 3 vs Curran on Reanimator

Game 1: I had opened with a Grief and got rid of the Animate dead, which was good! But he drew into entomb, and Reanimated a Griselbrand and that was that.

Game 2: Grief and then Voidwalker did good things! Buuuut he was able to work though it until he could take out my Voidwalker, Show & Tell a Griselbrand in and overwhelm me with card advantage. I also made the unfortunate mistake of hoping I could get a Liliana into play off Show & Tell but that is not how the card works. 

Rounds 2 and 3 took 20 minutes total to complete. Yikes. 

So I went home, had a beer. I think the suggestions from last week have given Trash Truck more options against combo, which is great! But combo is very difficult to deal with as a non-blue deck. Facing two reanimator decks in a row and just getting crushed was definitely a tough evening. 

I still really like this deck and maybe it could be brushed up even more. I'm not sure exactly how, at least if I want to keep it as a RB deck. But the games have been interesting and mostly interactive, so for a homebrew build I feel pretty good.

1-2 (But It Isn't So Bad)

Last Friday's results:

Rd 1 vs Dennis on Lands/Field of the Dead version

Game 1: I started with a Dark Confidant then a Dauthi Voidwalker. I was then able to triple Bowmaster to whittle down the three zombies he made and that left me with a surprising army on my side of the board instead of his. 

Game 2: Voidwalker, then Confidant again, then I drew into a land to play turn Blood Moon on turn 3. He had a Forest out to play Explore, Mulch, and more but he didn’t draw into the Boseju he needed and I quickly got in while the getting was good.

Rd 2 vs Trevor on Ad Nauseum storm

Game 1: With a Confidant and then a Buccaneer, I put just enough pressure that when he missed by turn 3, that was it.

Game 2: I’d sideboarded in Meltdown and a Kolaghan's Command; they did not arrive in time for him to Burning Wish and Tendrils me out.

Game 3: He was able to remove my early pressure of Voidwalker and went off with Ad Nauseam before I could get a second draw off a Dark Confidant.

Tough matchup is tough: I’m not sure I’ve got much for this one. That said, I kept a land-heavy hand in the third game, expecting to have turn two plays to get me going and perhaps more action would’ve been the order for the day.

Rd 3 vs Ty on Grixis Delver

Game 1: I mulligan to 5, and wasn’t able to come back to his card selection & advantage. When the 6/6 Murktide arrived, I scooped it up.

Game 2: I made a critical mistake here, listening for Braintorm to cast Bowmasters in response to, instead of just what card was being played. As a result, I missed casting it during the two Ponders.

When I did cast it, Ty was kind enough to suggest he rewind things so I could respond, but I am taking this as a lesson: I need to be patient and practice. As it was, that cost me the game and the match, because my next play was a Burning Inquiry, which did 3 damage to him, and allowed me to swing for 8, bringing him to 3.

I was then double bolted from 5. The response to Ponder would have changed things. Next time. 

However, as a bonus Ty asked to look at my deck and suggested adding in some of the BR Scam package. He could see some of the spice cards and wasn't disparaging, and he even said he liked what I was doing with the deck. (Which was very kind, I know I'm in the wilderness a bit here). 

But he has a point, and adding in some copies of Grief with ways to get my creatures back from the graveyard might be the buttress I need to help Trash Truck perform a little better. 

Here's the new plan:

2 Sheoldred, the Apocalypse

2 Tourach, Dread Cantor

1 Glint-Horn Buccaneer

4 Orcish Bowmasters

4 Dauthi Voidwalker

3 Dark Confidant

2 Grief

3 Dream Salvage

4 Sudden Edict

2 Sheoldred's Edict

2 Kolaghan's Command

4 Mountain

4 Swamp

2 Bojuka Bog

4 Bloodstained Mire

4 Blood Crypt

4 Badlands

1 Wasteland

3 Liliana of the Veil

1 Reforge the Soul

4 Burning Inquiry

Sideboard

SB: 4 Plague Engineer

SB: 3 Blood Moon

SB: 4 Pyroblast

SB: 4 Meltdown

Doubts Arise

I may've mentioned it before but: I have concerns about where WotC is taking Magic, insofar as it is a game you can just pull out a deck and play. 

Let me expand, because it's never been entirely true that one could just play Magic. Even in the pre-internet era, you wanted dice or counters of some sort. Plus there were references to rulebooks to help guide people through tough situations, but that era was (mercifully) short. Once the online presences were established, having a way to check what a card says and how it works became just part of the experience. 

A small one, though. One that wasn't always necessary but one that was nice to have as a backup. 

With the first D&D expansion, this changed: now we needed reference cards to keep track of something, in this case the Undercity, then the Initiative, and now the Ringbearer. These things differ from a mechanic like the Monarch, because only one person is the Monarch at a time, and only one thing happens when you're the Monarch: You draw a card at the end of turn. This kind of mechanic can easily be noted with any kind of token. 

I firmly believe the rise of what I'll call 'tracker' mechanics is due to the success of Magic: Arena. Arena has been a fantastic resource for people to learn how to play, which means a massive influx of new players (yay!)- but it also keeps track of things for you, generating items that you would otherwise have to manage physically. And as convenient as that is, it doesn't always translate well to the real world. 

The case in point: Wilds of Eldraine. Specifically, I'm looking at the card Conceited Witch, in contrast to Living Lectern, Besotted Knight, or Cursed Courier. (Ed. note, much of this was written before all the roles were revealed, or the set is fully on display, however I believe that it still applies).

From a flavor perspective, the opportunity to show a transformation like this is an interesting idea. But the execution of it is not something I'm digging on. 

First: there isn't a consistency as to what a role does: three of the four provide +1/+1, but one turns the creature into a 1/1.  

Second: there isn't a consistency within each color what role they will create: that is, there are too many roles for each color to just produce one. 

Third: there isn't text on Conceited Witch to tell you what Wicked Role does. I had to look at another card entirely (Lord Skitter's Blessing) to get that information. 

So what we have here is a mechanic that a) doesn't work the same way each time and b) occasionally doesn't tell you what it does. That's just bad. 

Which leads me to assume that there will be token auras in packs of WoE to provide the necessary information. (Guess what, there are!) Tokens that will be randomized, so maybe you get one that you need, but maybe you don't. 

Just what Magic needs: more bookkeeping!

This definitely puts a damper on my enthusiasm for this idea. 

As a very small grievance, I wish the spells with the Bargain mechanic used language like "If you accepted the Bargain" or better yet "If you've come to Bargain" instead of "If this spell was bargained" mostly because that sounds cooler. (I get that it possibly can't work like that, and makes for awkward language but still...)

Late To The Party: Cyberpunk 2077

I blame Grand Theft Auto 3, honestly.

Back when Grand Theft Auto 3 was THE game, (21 years ago, for context) I remember one writeup saying: The genius of GTA3 is that they turned cruising into a game mechanic.

And it was true: driving around, listening to the radio-an experience particularly enhanced by incredibly snarky, satirical DJs- in GTA's remarkably realized city was just a cool thing to do.

Which was a good thing, because the driving mechanic itself was dogshit. The "Auto" part of GTA has always been its weakest experience, with cars feeling like boats, unwieldly and awkward to drive.  None of them having the kind of snap that comes from other driving-oriented games of that era, like Burnout.

In fairness, Burnout was a racing game-there was nothing else to do but go fast at precision speeds. Sure, your goal might be to cause the biggest traffic accident you can, but you wanted to do it immediately and so the controls needed to be precise.

GTA3 gave an entire world to play in; who cares if part of the game was kinda shit?

But, they never improved that. The descendents of GTA-and there are many-have all had to grapple with this problem. Some have gone the extra mile to correct traversal, others, like GTA itself, have decided to say 'fuck it'.

So it is with Cyberpunk 2077. Getting from point A to B sucks ass. Sure, you can set a destination and then hit Circle to skip the travel process but it's not as though you're instantly transported there. You have to look at a loading screen for however long.

Neither option is appealing to me.

Strike one.

"How do I hack this computer?" It was part of finishing an early mission in Cyberpunk 2077 and though I had been shown once, it had been days since I'd done it, and I needed to re-learn the skill. I didn't want to go online to figure out the solution: this was an early puzzle. It can't be that hard.

But I still couldn't figure it out so I did the next obvious thing: I checked the game's submenus for the 'how to' section. Every game has one now! 

The menus are obtuse, and filled with iconography I don't understand. Unlabled folders so I can't easily find what I need.

But it doesn't matter; what I need isn't there anyways.

I brute force my way through the puzzle. At least I won't forget how to do this in the future...if there is one.

Strike two.

Finally, there is one way to get me to instantly quit a game: force me into a fail-state with no understanding of why that happened. This happened for me in Red Dead Redemption, and I quit playing, halfway through what was a reasonably entertaining game.

It happened here, too. I tried to park my car-did so badly, and got a notice "The police have been notified".

Why? Why are the cops coming? What, exactly, did I do wrong? I don't know-there isn't anything helpful around me to tell me why-did I run over someone?

So after having to drive away (a feature which sucks ass) I find my way to an objective: Subdue this person without killing them. Great: I remember the moves for melee!

I enter the arena, my weapon is drawn and the only icons on my screen are; reload. No holster.

So I have no way to do the objective. I die, and one resounding bell goes off in my mind: Fuck ALL this.

Strike three.

3-1

Quite the turnaround, right?

Rd 1 vs Ryan on dredge

Game 1: I got to see the deck in action, as he used Ichorids to create Cabal Therapy fodder and make 8 zombie tokens and a Hogaak, Arisen Necropolis.

Game 2: He vomited a portion of his library into his graveyard on his turn 1, and on my next turn I put out a Dauthi Voidwalker. That gave me enough time to get creatures on the board and pressure him down.

I did miss a Dark Confidant trigger, and that ended up costing me-the judge ruled I should resolve the ability after I’d drawn (and I’d drawn a land) but the next card was Sheoldred. Four needless damage in a matchup that could have easily gone the other way. 

Game 3: His turn 1 was great, putting a Troll into the GY after a Faithless Looting that had been flashed back. My turn 1 was Bojuka Bog.

After that, he was in topdeck mode and I was putting permanents into play, until I got a Sheoldred and an Orcish Bowmasters out. Then I was able to double Burning Inquiry into the win.

First win!

Rd 2 vs Robin on Yorion 4 color C

Game 1: I got put down by a Minsc and Boo. Really good card is good. 

Game 2: Blood Moon on turn 3 let me play my cards, and Robin was locked out of the game at that point. I was able to press the advantage.

Game 3: while I had a Dauthi Voidwalker, a Liliana and a Blood Moon, Robin was able to hang in there with a Teferi and The One Ring. They played to their outs by getting basic lands on the table as fast as they could, so were still able to interact-just slower. Once they were able to Minsc and Boo out my Liliana (the turn before ultimate!) and I drew 3 lands in a row, there was no coming back for me.

Tough loss but Robin earned it. 

Rd 3 vs Brandon on Merfolk

Game 1: Tide Shaper turned my Badlands into an Island which meant he got free attacks in until I died. I had a hand full of removal, but didn’t draw into any action.

Game 2: I was able to resolve a Plague Engineer to stabilize the board. At 3 life I played a Bowmasters to take out the lords that kept his army boosted. He conceded after that.

Game 3: Bowmasters on deck: they did work with Burning Inquiry to keep his army down, and I was able to get the concession shortly after.

Rd 4 vs Chris on Yorion Grixis control

Game 1: I got pushed out by his card draw and multiple Thoughtsieze.

Game 2: With two Dauthi Voidwalkers out, I was able to press my advantage. He made a critical mistake, trying to Bowmaster my Voidwalker and block it, forgetting it had shadow. I was able to close the game shortly after.

Game 3: Chris was stuck on two lands, so I grew an Army off a Bowmaster to 4, via Burning Inquiry. With the Lighting Bolts blanked, and a Buccaneer to add to the damage, and was able to win after that!

Here's my takeaways:

First, it's fucking hard to win games of Magic. I am realizing that people really have to focus on the game as all but a full time job if they want to reach winning records with regularity. 

That's OK, but also it feels pretty damn gratifying to post a winning record. 

Second: I absolutely had good matchups. My deck is practically pre-engineered to create problems for graveyard based strategies or typal decks. On the one hand: I won matches that I should have. On the other: there is so damn much blue-based control out there that it's hard to pull those matches out.

Still, week two's showing was pretty good! 

Round Two (2023)

 Here's what I'm taking into tomorrow's event. 

2 Sheoldred, the Apocalypse
2 Tourach, Dread Cantor
3 Glint-Horn Buccaneer
4 Orcish Bowmasters
4 Dauthi Voidwalker
3 Dark Confidant

3 Dream Salvage
4 Sudden Edict
2 Sheoldred's Edict

4 Mountain
4 Swamp
2 Bojuka Bog
4 Bloodstained Mire
4 Blood Crypt
4 Badlands
1 Wasteland

3 Liliana of the Veil

3 Reforge the Soul
4 Burning Inquiry

// 15 Sideboard
SB: 4 Plague Engineer

SB: 3 Blood Moon

SB: 4 Pyroblast

SB: 4 Meltdown

As much as I like Magus of the Wheel, as a creature that takes a turn to get action out of, I don't believe it's going to help me. So I'm going with ye olde Dark Confidant because drawing cards is awesome.

I've also upped the Dauthi Voidwalkers for Waste Not, and added in a Wasteland. I flailed around for days trying to figure out a substitute for Blood Moon, but just haven't come up with anything. I considered Surgical Extraction but I have a lot of maindeck graveyard removal. 

What I need are things to muck up the early game and Blood Moon can do that, though I'm also still thinking about a fourth Plague Engineer. Still I'm sticking with it for now.

Very Far Ahead

WotC has treated fans to an announcement of sets coming out through 2026! There is some wild stuff there and for the most part I'm on board with the concepts. They feel weird and as though they did some 'swing for the fences' stuff. I adore that!

Now, there are some obvious winners for me: anytime they go to Ixalan, I'm hyped because dinosaurs. I refuse to tamp down the enthusiasm of 5 year old me for dinosaurs, ever. Even though my interest in non-Magic IPs in the game is diminished, I 100% see the audience for the Jurassic franchise being excited and hey, y'all go to town. 

It gets far more interesting after that, though, along with the guaranteed moneymakers that will shake up many formats and have the stick in the muds whining about 'my eternal format shouldn't rotate!'.

We ignore those people.

Ravnica remastered-very cool, let's give people another chance at cards from one of the most popular locations and solid mechanics of the game. 

Murders at Karlov Manor-I'm taking this as a 'hunt the serial killer' thing, a Silence of the Lambs but for Magic. I'm undeniably interested in this concept. 

The Ravnica: Clue thing, I haven't the slighted idea about. Clue might be a 'classic' boardgame but is it a good one? Are people actually excited about this notion?

The Commander: Fallout crossover is where I'm staring to see the pattern. If the IP doesn't have a fantasy element, then Commander standalone product is where it tends to go. Warhammer 40k, Doctor Who and now Fallout falling here and I can't say I'm upset about it. I don't care about it much because Commander as a format is one I'm really on the fringes of enjoyment of. 

Contrast this with the recent LotR set, and the upcoming Final Fantasy themed set being full on draftable ones and I am starting to see where WotC is willing to blend their product. The Assassin's Creed set is the outlier here, since the story is technically science fiction but all the action takes place in historical settings where it's easy to implement fantasy tropes. 

And while I am a fan of both Fallout and Final Fantasy, while caring very little about Assassin's Creed, the proof will be in the pudding, yes? I don't care about what they do with these properties, except insofar as they give me less Initiative or the Ringbearer mechanics and more Warhammer 40k's good cards. 

Outlaws of Thunder Junction is something that fans have been asking for for years, and the 'villains at a frontier town' concept is rad. I'm very interested.

Modern Horizons 3 is...going to have absolutely bonkers shit in it and if everyone could just get the yelling about it out of their system now, that'd be great. I personally am looking forward to it because I've liked both the previous Modern Horizons sets. 

Bloomburrow is something I can't believe they haven't done before, honestly. Redwall as Magic set is such a slam dunk for so many reasons, it really plays into what Magic should be messing around with, I think. Again, I'm just surprised they didn't do this before. 

Duskmourn: House of Horror takes the biggest risk of these sets, I think. An entire plane that exists inside a haunted mansion? That is just wild! But I'm excited to see WotC take on such a different idea. 

As for the 2025 sets and beyond, the details are mostly too vague for me to have an opinion about. I can say that of the planes we know we're revisiting, Strixhaven, Tarkir and Lorwyn, I'm far more interested in the Lorwyn one, as Shadowmoor/Eventide is one of my favorite Magic blocks, ever.

0-3-1

So here's how things went:

Match 1 vs Connor, Cephalid Breakfast

Game 1: He had a T2 Stoneforge Mystic to fetch the Shuko, and a turn 3 Illusionist. The triggers happened and he won via Thassa's Oracle. 

Game 2: I was able to get out a Buccaneer while he set up, and got him down to 10, but knowing he had an Illusionist in hand, I tapped out to Reforge the Soul, as I had one card in hand.

He discarded the illusionist, but drew into another one and that was it.

Match 2 vs Shawn on D&T

Game 1: Samwise was used to recur Wasteland and take care of my mana base in short order. Though I was able to use Bowmasters to take out a Thalia and a Sam, I didn’t have removal for the Stoneforge Mystic that brought Kaldra Compleat into play, nor a response for the Karakas bouncing my Tourach.

Game 2: I played two Burning Inquiries which lead to me drawing 11 of my 22 lands.

Things did not go well after that.

Match 3 vs Ben on Sharkstill

Game 1: My deck did the thing! I had Buccaneer out and with a wheel effect, did enough damage to win.

Game 2: When he cast The Wandering Emperor, I realized I had sideboarded incorrectly; he had too many basic lands for Blood Moon to be relevant. The moon took me off BB which I needed for multiple cards in hand, and that was enough for him to take the edge.

Game 3: I made a huge mistake on turn 4, when I had a Plague Engineer out on Servo to keep the Retrofitter Foundry in check. I swing in, not realizing that he had enough mana to make a 2/2 Construct token via Urza's Saga for us to trade.

“Well, I’ll just draw another!”

I did not draw another.

My last game was against Matt, who is a buddy I play with frequently. He runs a Parfait variant that he's been working on for years so I know the matchup well.

In the first game he was able to create all the construct tokens and won.  

So I just brought in four Meltdowns and proceeded to do one-sided boardwipes when I could. Unfortunately, it still took me a long time to get there and while I won that game, we had one minute to play a third and tied. 

What did I learn?

First; four copies of Reforge the Soul are too many. I'll be cutting one, since this isn't a card I want to see in my opening grip.

Second, as much as I like Waste Not, I just don't know that I can spend time setting up like that. Against non-Blue prison style decks, sure but there are just better things to be doing and I should find them. Because there are a lot of Blue decks on Fridays. 

Third, it might be worth incorporating Wastelands into this deck. As a two color deck, the drawback should be minimal. Similarly, Geiger Reach Sanitarium might have a place.

Finally, I'm not certain Blood Moon is not the answer I need in the sideboard. In all of my matchups, graveyard removal would've been just as, if not more useful. Certainly, the Dauthi Voidwalkers represented issues when they were out. 

All Bets Are Off

Looks like WotC is going to be producing proxies. Rather than making reprints, we're getting non-tournament legal proxies. I'm not the only one who's looking at this announcement that way...

I wonder if they're trying to kill the secondary market or just move in on it. Either way, this is...fucking dumb and has further established me in a pro-proxy camp.