The Retired: Gigantor

Ah, I so wanted this deck to be a thing!

3 Kilnmouth Dragon

1 Ryusei, the Falling Star

3 Fierce Empath

1 Bladewing the Risen

1 Steel Hellkite

1 Harbinger of the Hunt

1 Destructor Dragon

1 Atarka, World Render

1 Swift Warkite

3 Thunderbreak Regent

1 Karrthus, Tyrant of Jund

1 Thundermaw Hellkite

4 Fertile Ground

3 Naturalize

6 Mountain

3 Jund Panorama

6 Forest

3 Swamp

1 Crucible of the Spirit Dragon

2 Jungle Hollow

2 Bloodfell Caves

1 Grand Coliseum

3 Rampant Growth

3 Painful Truths

3 Crux of Fate

2 Radiant Flames

So, what's wrong here? Well, the big concept was to make a massive Kilnmouth Dragon and that right there is a problem. Because it's a Glory of Cool Things card: you could have a 14 power dragon, right?

Then why aren't you just attacking with it? Why tap it to do 9 damage to something?

Which is a bit of the issue with the entire deck; all these big creatures and they don't just revolutionize the board when they enter. Which, if you're paying six mana for something, ought to do that.  

And that's really the issue here: when this  deck gets to 6+ mana, it doesn't play cards that brick the opponent's board. 

So I'm using all the cool stuff here and putting into the Ur-Dragon deck. It needs to be updated anyway, what with all the cool new Dragonstorm stuff. 

The Retired: Hun-Gurrr

I get the idea here: this is another in the line of B/W reanimate decks that I seem to be so fond of. 

3 Whispersilk Cloak

1 Helm of Kaldra

4 Greater Harvester

4 Welkin Hawk

2 Butcher Ghoul

4 Doomed Traveler

3 Ashling, the Extinguisher

4 Smother

2 Wing Shards

10 Swamp

8 Plains

2 Vault of the Archangel

3 Salt Flats

2 Orzhov Guildgate

4 Lingering Souls

2 Steelshaper's Gift

2 Repentance

It's not terrible-and it used to have cards like Oath of Ghouls and Promise of Bunrei in there. The concept is an interesting one. But the fact of the matter is: the power level just isn't high enough. Greater Harvester is a brutal card if it connects, but that happens at best on turn six. 

The other thing is that getting Greater Harvester to work means splitting this deck into a reincarnation theme, and an unblockable one. I've been doing this long enough to know that if I'm going to step out on a weird or underpowered idea, I can't spend resources that are not dedicated to that idea. 

Time to let this one go.

The Retired: Revenge of the Slith

OK, I just need to admit that I did this one for the name. Can you blame me though? 

4 Kami of False Hope

4 Slith Firewalker

4 Slith Ascendant

3 Kor Sanctifiers

3 Firemane Avenger

2 Guardian Seraph

1 Kazuul, Tyrant of the Cliffs

2 Precinct Captain

2 Odric, Master Tactician

2 Bedlam

4 Intimidation Bolt

3 Brimstone Volley

2 Order // Chaos

8 Mountain

8 Plains

3 Wind-Scarred Crag

4 Furycalm Snarl

Obviously, the big problem here is that the central concept-Make your creatures unblockable and huge-is simply worse than: play good creatures and stomp over theirs. Bedlam is a really neat card that costs too much. 

And there's so much that can be done with these other cards-from the lands to Guardian Seraph, that I'll let this one pass. 

The Retired: Intolerance

This one gets filed under; Neat idea, but the game has passed it by.

4 Humble Budoka
2 Blurred Mongoose
4 Jolrael's Centaur
4 Nimble Mongoose
4 Pincher Beetles
3 Elvish Lookout
1 Kodama of the North Tree
3 Hawkeater Moth

3 Wrap in Vigor

2 Oran-Rief, the Vastwood
19 Forest
2 Slippery Karst

4 Overrun
2 Titania's Boon
1 Overwhelming Stampede

2 Doubling Chant

I really like the concept here; play creatures that cannot be targeted by removal, creating dead cards in your opponent's hand. The fact that I can't target them either isn't a problem and cards like Wrath of God are just passe now. But if they are running (most) Wrath effects, Wrap in Vigor solves that problem! 

Unfortunately for me-but really better for the game-the Shroud ability has been replaced by Hexproof. And sure, there are green creatures to make that deck with there isn't anything particularly powerful happening if I do that. And if I'm going to play around with an off-beat concept, I'd at least like there to be some powerful interactions. 

So it's time to let it go.

The Retired: Weapons of Mass Distortion

Once upon a time, I named a deck after a Crystal Method song and tried to use Defense of the Heart. 

Weapons of Mass Distortion

2 Darksteel Ingot

4 Utopia Tree
3 Varchild's War-Riders
1 Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker
3 Viridian Zealot
1 Tornado Elemental
1 Bringer of the Blue Dawn
1 Bringer of the Red Dawn
1 Duplicant
1 Akroma, Angel of Fury
1 Avatar of Fury
1 Avatar of Might
1 Woodfall Primus
1 Bogardan Hellkite
2 Fire Ants
1 Suture Priest

4 Defense of the Heart

4 Lat-Nam's Legacy
4 Simoon

4 Forbidden Orchard
8 Forest
2 Island
5 Mountain
4 Dreamroot Cascade

As ideas go, this isn't too bad-use Forbidden Orchard to force the conditions that Defense of the Heart requires onto my opponent. Then dial up whatever cool monsters I want/need and win. Use Simoon and Fire Ants to keep the token army from getting out of control-or don't and use Suture Priest to punish them.

There are a few problems though. First, the monster selection is bad. Sure, Avatar of Might seemed rad once, but creatures have come a looooooooooong way. 

Second: the mana is all over the place. 

Third, there's no way to ensure that I'm going to get the Defense of the Heart. Lat-Lam's Legacy is a card I love and I think it's underutilized but that isn't enough to make the deck consistent. 

However, there's another reason why I'm taking this apart and it's got a little bit to do with this. (The bones of this deck went into Blackened Disease!)

The Retired: Hope Is A Passenger

Sadly this never really did what I hoped. I reworked this deck years ago and then never picked it up again.

4 Well of Lost Dreams
4 Sunbeam Spellbomb
2 Behemoth Sledge

3 Ageless Entity
3 Kavu Titan
4 Quirion Elves
2 Devout Witness
4 Essence Warden
2 Dragonlord Dromoka
2 Sunscorch Regent

2 Armadillo Cloak

2 Blessed Alliance

8 Forest
2 Selesnya Sanctuary
9 Plains
2 Temple of Plenty
1 Blossoming Sands
1 Graypelt Refuge

2 Solar Tide
1 Fumigate

After all that, it's just not engaging. Forgot my own rule: you cannot just gain life-all that does is extend the time it takes to lose. That lifegain has to mean something in the larger context of the game.

Now, the upside is that there are some good cards to mine from this deck to put to use elsewhere, and I have whittled down one more deck I do not need. But it is a bummer that I couldn't get this theme to feel more fun. 

There might be an idea worth revisiting here when Bloomburrow comes out; there are multiple Black and White cards that trigger off life gain and life loss. But for now, let's bin it.

The Retired: Prisoner

I really wanted this to be a clever thing...

4 Frost Raptor
4 Mistfolk
3 Blinding Angel
4 Somnophore

4 Coalition Flag
3 Martial Law
2 Faith's Fetters

4 Mana Leak
3 Dismantling Blow

3 Boreal Shelf
9 Snow-Covered Island
5 Snow-Covered Plains
2 Flood Plain
4 Island

3 Ponder
3 Supreme Verdict

And I suppose it is? Using certain creatures to draw the opponent's removal spells with Coalition Flag then the abilities of those creatures-especially Mistfolk-to render that removal useless is clever.

The problem of course is that it isn't good. Sure, creatures matter far more than when I first built this deck, but so what? The plan to win is terrible-and by terrible I mean it's grindy without locking an opponent out, taking far, far too long without nearly enough disruption.

I can put the Flood Plains, Ponders, and Supreme Verdicts in a deck where they will be a lot more helpful. 

The Retired: Sludge

 I had started a post with this deck back in 2011...and looks like I never followed up on it.  Not really anyway.  

2 Monstrous Hound

4 Benalish Emissary

2 Firebrand Ranger

3 Faultgrinder

3 Pangosaur

2 Thornscape Battlemage

3 Farhaven Elf

4 Limited Resources

3 Lash Out

3 Graceful Reprieve

3 Rith's Charm

2 Naya Charm

6 Plains

5 Mountain

3 Jungle Shrine

3 Naya Panorama

6 Forest

1 Decimate

2 Implode

It won't come as a surprise I'm taking this apart. This deck is a griefer deck and making people miserable while playing the game just isn't my style. For those who don't remember, Limited Resources is a card that combined with some land destruction, can squeeze the opponent out of the game. 

It's a long slow death and I never really like those. And the other cards are weak ones that are trying to be supported on the strength of one unpleasant one. 

So, let's retire it. 

The Retired: 99 Problems

I know I haven't written about this deck yet, but I was doing some research on the "Moggwarts" deck, trying to take it from its Pauper combo state to a more powerful one and was stuck here:

99 Problems

4 Skirk Prospector
2 Goblin Matron
2 Murderous Redcap
3 Putrid Goblin
1 Pashalik Mons
2 Munitions Expert
2 Sling-Gang Lieutenant

4 Cathartic Pyre
4 First Day of Class
3 Poison the Cup

4 Foreboding Ruins
4 Canyon Slough
5 Swamp
9 Mountain

3 Night's Whisper
4 Duress
4 Unearth

Sideboard

SB: 4 Overmaster

Except...I have a deck that uses Goblin tribal in a silly way. When I realized this, I began to really look at the two decks and see if I could combine them to do an aggressive thing with a combo finish. Why not, right? If most of the time I'm just attacking for silly amounts of damage, that's fine! But if things stall out then screw it, go all in on a combo finish.

However, what Bonecrusher really wants to do is flood the board with goblins and goblin tokens to activate Skirk Fire Marshal, hopefully with a Mogg Fanatic out.

99 Problems on the other hand is wanting to make sure a First Day of Class is cast with a sac outlet and a Persist creature of some sort, to generate infinite damage or mana. The direction I was taking it was to try and draw as many cards as I could in order to do the combo consistently and quickly. 

These premises don't jibe together.

The other thing I noticed about Bonecrusher is that IT isn't even consistently doing what I want. Making a bunch of goblin tokens is not what a card like Goblin Ringleader is for. 

My dilemma is that I think using Skirk Fire Marshal is a funnier way to win a game, but the combo engine of 99 Problems is a proven quantity. 

One other issue is that there are more goblins and generators in Black than White. Keeping Bonecrusher as a R/W deck is probably not the way to go. White gives me some excellent removal and the ability to activate SFM at any life total, if I have an Angel's Grace. But the synergies in Black are really too good to gloss over.

So I'm just gonna smoosh these together-against what is probably the better judgement of everyone-and see what happens. 

The Retired: Cutthroat

 "What if I had a deck that just took care of all the problematic permanents?"

2 Rith, the Awakener
1 Cloudchaser Eagle
2 Aven Cloudchaser
2 Tephraderm
4 Flametongue Kavu
3 Elvish Visionary
1 Godsire
3 Uktabi Orangutan
3 Stonecloaker
3 Civic Wayfinder
2 Meglonoth

3 Reinforcements

3 Rith's Grove
1 Naya Panorama
8 Forest
6 Plains
6 Mountain

3 Lava Burst
4 Gift of the Gargantuan

Well, the answer is: you do all the things sorta and none of the things well. In this respect, this deck isn't living up to the song it's named after. 

This is a frequent theme in decks I build. I rarely want to focus on the one thing; I want to have outs to problems, instead of insisting that my opponents respond to me. I've been getting better about this, but I still have to fight against those tendencies. 

Cutthroat is a fine example of the old way of thinking and that's a good reason to retire this one. 

The Retired: Grotusque

Land destruction is always a messy business. 
 
2 Verduran Emissary

2 Dwarven Blastminer
3 Thresher Beast
4 Llanowar Elves
2 Avalanche Riders
2 Acidic Slime

2 Form of the Dragon

3 Lunge
2 Rhystic Lightning

8 Forest
4 Karplusan Forest
1 Forgotten Cave
1 Tranquil Thicket
1 Slippery Karst
1 Smoldering Crater
8 Mountain

2 Aftershock
2 Creeping Mold
4 Stone Rain
2 Frenzied Tilling
2 Desert Twister
2 Pillage

I named this from the Transformer-what can I say, I have a soft spot for a flying, fire breathing tiger. And to past mes credit, the idea behind this deck is to use Form of the Dragon to finish the game off, after blowing up opposing lands so they just have to sit there. 

Couple problems here; first, I was a cheapskate and didn't want to purchase a third copy of Form, a card this deck 100% needs. 

Second: land destruction starts at mana value 3, and these days you mostly find those effects at 4. If there isn't a way to reset the game after blowing up opponent's lands-to deal with what they've put into play before I start to turn the corner-then I'm in trouble. And guess what: Rhystic Lightning is not the answer I need.

Third: it's clear I haven't looked at this deck since 2003 and Magic strategy and card development has shifted immensely since then. The concepts behind this deck are out of the colors it's in (Lands does a mana denial thing and it's G/W), and almost old enough to drink. 

So I'm going to let this drift away. I don't even think there's a deck that needs some of these cards -but if I decide to do a land destruction deck again, it's going to be significantly tighter than this. 

The Retired: Skalor

I know, another deck I've gone over. 

It seemed so neat! But I also have multiple decks in G/B using this theme. 

4 Gluttonous Slime
4 Festering Goblin
3 Young Wolf
3 Viridian Zealot
3 Reassembling Skeleton
2 Wolfir Silverheart
2 Sidisi, Undead Vizier
2 Reaper of the Wilds
3 Leaf Gilder

4 Gutter Grime

2 Hero's Downfall
3 Tragic Slip

9 Forest
9 Swamp
1 Overgrown Tomb
4 Darkbore Pathway

2 Garruk Relentless

The theme isn't even entirely focused, either. What is Wolfir Silverheart doing here, aside from being a big monster? This deck really wants Gutter Grime to create an overwhelming advantage but then doesn't include an engine to really sacrifice creatures with. I just expected they'd die due to normal gameplay!

That's relying on my opponent to execute my strategy and that is deeply unwise. 

The Retired: Wizard Fight!

This one was named after the best song Weedeater ever did. Honestly, they probably should've retired after this song, because I don't think anyone can top it. 

Still here we are:

1 Niv-Mizzet, the Firemind
3 Kami of the Crescent Moon
2 Psychosis Crawler
2 Dragon Mage

4 Words of War

4 Jilt
4 Repeal
4 Bewilder

9 Island
3 Izzet Boilerworks
4 Scalding Tarn
8 Mountain

2 Preordain
4 Wheel of Fate
3 Rolling Thunder
3 Serum Visions

While the idea is to use Words of War in combination with basically every red card drawing effect ever, and supplement WoW with Psychosis Crawler for a victory condition, Wizard Fight also had to run cards like Kami of the Crescent Moon. KotCM helps everyone, and the support cards I added in just weren't punishing enough.

Rolling Thunder is too slow and I don't have enough mana in here to make it truly dangerous. Jilt, Repeal, and Bewilder aren't even close to being a strong enough suite of cards to help keep the game in my favor.

This is probably a deck that if I refashioned it into a combo deck that used Blood Oath or Sudden Impact to do damage and Arcane Laboratory to control the board, would be more interesting to play. And since it turns out, I already have a deck like this, letting Wizard Fight! go is for the best. 

But the name is awesome! Maybe I'll reuse that. 

Note: No posts next week, as I'll be away for Thanksgiving and quite likely playing a lot of Warhammer 40k Conquest.

The Retired: Name of the Game

It really just became time to admit that the Blue/Black version of this deck from 20 years ago, was much better.

3 Patagia Viper
3 Raven Familiar
3 Wirewood Elf
3 Chasm Skulker
3 Seedborn Muse
1 Verdant Force

4 Symbiotic Deployment
1 Verdant Embrace

9 Island
9 Forest
1 Simic Growth Chamber
1 Alchemist's Refuge
4 Temple of Mystery

3 Temporal Spring
3 Ponder
3 Fallow Earth
3 Plow Under
3 Donate

I wanted to love this so much. Donate Symbiotic Deployment to deny your opponent cards? Let's do that!

I suppose part of the problem was in the follow up plan: Fallow Earth and Plow Under might be backbreaking if I'm ahead, but Wirewood Elf and Patagia Viper are not the cards that help put me there. 

The other one is that the old school Donate/Illusions decks really did do this better. Why stall out the game when you can win it? 

The Retired: Creeping Death

 I haven't touched this deck since Urea's Block and it shows, right?

2 Skull of Orm
3 Smokestack
3 Chimeric Sphere

2 Opal Acrolith
1 Opal Archangel
2 Opal Champion
2 Opal Gargoyle
1 Opal Titan
1 Lurking Evil
2 Lurking Skirge
4 Tainted Aether

3 Mortify
4 Dark Ritual

3 Tainted Field
1 Serra's Sanctum
7 Plains
9 Swamp
4 Godless Shrine

2 Wrath of God
4 Vindicate

A very old notion for a control deck, this one wanted to use removal coupled with creatures that weren't always creatures to overwhelm the opponent. Sweep the board with Wrath of God, use Vindicate and Mortify to take out everything else

The trick is that a card like Opal Acrolith needs my opponent to do something for me to get a win condition. That might work in a Limited environment, especially when the card works with the others around it. In an environment with a bigger card pool, those necessities can leave me cold.

Then with cards like Lurking Evil, I could end up paying a ton of life for a sizable creature with evasion-but no protection. It can be chumped by the smaller fliers out there, and eaten alive by not just removal, but cards like Murktide Reagent. 

So let's let it go. 

The Retired: Back To The Primitive

I really wanted this deck to be a thing. Unfortunately, even after revamping it's just a RBG goodstuff deck that gets rescued by Pernicious Deed. 

1 Darigaaz, the Igniter
4 Thunderscape Familiar
3 Gravedigger
1 Boneyard Lurker
1 Doom Whisperer
1 Battle Mammoth
2 Toski, Bearer of Secrets
2 Immersturm Predator
4 Circuit Mender

3 Pernicious Deed

2 Darigaaz's Charm
4 Terminate
2 Play with Fire

3 Darigaaz's Caldera
3 Jund Panorama
6 Swamp
5 Forest
6 Mountain

3 Bond of Flourishing
4 Agonizing Remorse

9 Sideboard

SB: 3 Hurricane
SB: 3 Hull Breach
SB: 3 Duress

I suppose the biggest problem here is the lack of vision for this deck. If this is going to be a RGB goodstuff deck then...where's the goodstuff? If it's going to try to discount the GB spells then where's the enablers beyond four Thunderscape Familiars? 

This deck is all over the place and needs to be set to rest. I can reboot the idea sometime with mroe focus. 

The Retired: Sunspots

 What a mess this one was/is. 

4 Energy Chamber
3 Engineered Explosives
4 Pentad Prism
3 Clearwater Goblet
2 Golem Foundry
2 Lux Cannon

2 Treasure Hunter
4 Etched Oracle
4 Skyreach Manta

3 Inexorable Tide

2 Clockspinning

2 Swamp
1 Vivid Crag
1 Vivid Creek
2 Vivid Grove
1 Vivid Marsh
1 Vivid Meadow
1 Academy Ruins
2 Mountain
2 Island
6 Forest
2 Plains
2 Tolaria West

4 Rampant Growth

I get what the concept is: just abuse the ability to put counters on things to win. But whoa, what a bunch of nonsense. So many 'well it'll be neat if it works!' ideas without dedicating to an idea that would work.

It'll be good to dismantle this one: it is just so clunky. The manabase is all over, the consistency just isn't there and at no point is this deck truly doing something powerful. 

The Retired: Joyful Reunion

 Joyful Reunion is one of those decks that has a better combo that I'm just stubbornly refusing to utilize. 

2 Birds of Paradise
4 Carrion Feeder
4 Heartmender
4 Juniper Order Ranger
4 Kitchen Finks
2 Melira, Sylvok Outcast

2 Abeyance
4 Tragic Slip
2 Silence
3 Altar's Reap

7 Forest
1 Murmuring Bosk
3 Plains
2 Swamp
2 Evolving Wilds
4 Sandsteppe Citadel
4 Shattered Sanctum

2 Safewright Quest
2 Caravan Vigil
2 Oust

The original combo involves Melira, of course, but then sensibly used Murderous Redcap and a sacrifice outlet to win. Using Kitchen Finks is a great way to not die, but it isn't as effective a way to win. 

So, like many almost got there decks I have, the Glory of Cool Things is winning out over doing something well. If the deck was still fun, I suppose that wouldn't matter, but I just haven't put that kind of spin on it-and I don't know that I can. So let's let it go.

The Retired: Wish

Wish is one of those decks I built in an attempt to have all the answers to a problem. As you might imagine, it did all of the things kinda, and none of them well.

3 Aven Cloudchaser
3 Viridian Shaman
3 Azorius Guildmage
3 Azorius Herald
3 Coiling Oracle
2 Treva, the Renewer
4 Diligent Farmhand
3 Stonecloaker
3 Fleetfoot Panther

4 Repulse
4 Muscle Burst

7 Forest
6 Plains
3 Treva's Ruins
3 Seaside Citadel
5 Island

2 Supply // Demand

Built in the days before planeswalkers, the goal here was to use Aven Cloudchaser and Viridian Shaman to keep any difficult permanents off the board and the combo of Stonecloaker and Fleetfoot Panther to reuse the effects. 

Repulse could buy me time against difficult creatures, I basically had it all covered!

Except the thing about control decks is that they have access to answers when they need them, not that they are all answers all the time. 

So, let's put these lands, if nothing else, into a better deck. 

The Retired: We Bite

 I think it's fair to say that if I've been through a deck and am not more interested in playing than I was, it's worth retiring. 

3 Whispersilk Cloak

2 Stigma Lasher
3 Kris Mage
3 War Elemental
2 Blood Knight
2 Mogg Fanatic
3 Hazoret the Fervent
3 Stromkirk Occultist

4 Seal of Fire

4 Chain of Plasma
4 Fiery Temper
4 Fireblast

2 Forgotten Cave
21 Mountain

I still believe there's something to be said for the risk/reward of having almost no hand size; Hazoret the Fervent is a pretty great payoff. Seal of Fire is perfect for the theme, Stromkirk Occultist keeps the cards coming.

I think I have to admit that the card I want to build around, War Elemental, is the problem here. Big dumb dorks that don't have an impact on the board are not helpful for winning games of Magic and it's time I let this concept go. There are several cards that will be better served in decks with tighter themes or better lynchpins and I look forward to adding them.